Old Age - A True Story
When my grandmother was 90, she was diagnosed with colon cancer. They
said they wouldn’t operate because she was too old. She said she
thought they were wrong, and went back to work. Wrong about the
diagnosis, she was glad they wouldn’t operate.
At that time, they also told her that her blood pressure was a little
high, and she should cut back on salt. She ignored them.
At 98, my grandmother broke her hip. They replaced her hip, and she
ended up in a wheelchair. She kept complaining that they had botched
the surgery. She made us get her a computer and teach her email. She
kept emailing doctors, lawyers, medical boards, and finally they
decided that she was right, something in surgery had gone wrong. The
re-did the surgery, and 6 months later, she danced at a bar mitzvah.
She had quit smoking cigarettes in her 60’s. Took up pot in her 70’s
(it’s a long story, but actually quite funny - involving breaking her
leg while skiing at Kilington). She always drank — not to excess, but
nonetheles. Her favourite foods were the type of things that make it
onto NO diet program any of us ever talk about.
In June of this year, her hip started bothering her and she was
complaining about the pain. A lot. She also refused to take the blood
pressure medicine they had put her on a couple years ago. She refused
to eat. Two weeks later, in her sleep, she died. My grandmother was 4
months shy of her 107th birthday.
What you don’t know about her, and what it would take too long to
write about is that she lived a long life completely true to herself.
She chose an interesting path. And there is no doubt that she chose
her time and method of death. She died with no illness or infirmaty
other than slightly elevated blood pressure, hearing loss requiring
hearing aids, reading (not distance) glasses, and a little arthritis
in her hands. She embraced life, and is the only person I ever met who
lived 24 hours of every 24 she had.
There is a lesson for all in there — working at what you love, having
hobbies that bring you joy, putting passion into the politics you
fight for, bringing zest into every room you enter.
Jessica
April 10th, 2005 at 9:48 pm
I have acquired her zest for life, and her love of nickle slot
machines. I don’t ski, don’t drink, and gave up drugs when I got out
of college. I lack her artistic ability (she was a sculptress, a
painter, and a dress designer) but she did teach me how to cook!
April 12th, 2005 at 9:54 pm
jessica your grandmother sounds wonderful
i want to be like her
tell us more about her life
When my grandmother was 90, she was diagnosed with colon cancer. They
said they wouldn’t operate because she was too old. She said she
thought they were wrong, and went back to work. Wrong about the
diagnosis, she was glad they wouldn’t operate.
At that time, they also told her that her blood pressure was a little
high, and she should cut back on salt. She ignored them.
At 98, my grandmother broke her hip. They replaced her hip, and she
ended up in a wheelchair. She kept complaining that they had botched
the surgery. She made us get her a computer and teach her email. She
kept emailing doctors, lawyers, medical boards, and finally they
decided that she was right, something in surgery had gone wrong. The
re-did the surgery, and 6 months later, she danced at a bar mitzvah.
She had quit smoking cigarettes in her 60’s. Took up pot in her 70’s
(it’s a long story, but actually quite funny - involving breaking her
leg while skiing at Kilington). She always drank — not to excess, but
nonetheles. Her favourite foods were the type of things that make it
onto NO diet program any of us ever talk about.
In June of this year, her hip started bothering her and she was
complaining about the pain. A lot. She also refused to take the blood
pressure medicine they had put her on a couple years ago. She refused
to eat. Two weeks later, in her sleep, she died. My grandmother was 4
months shy of her 107th birthday.
What you don’t know about her, and what it would take too long to
write about is that she lived a long life completely true to herself.
She chose an interesting path. And there is no doubt that she chose
her time and method of death. She died with no illness or infirmaty
other than slightly elevated blood pressure, hearing loss requiring
hearing aids, reading (not distance) glasses, and a little arthritis
in her hands. She embraced life, and is the only person I ever met who
lived 24 hours of every 24 she had.
There is a lesson for all in there — working at what you love, having
hobbies that bring you joy, putting passion into the politics you
fight for, bringing zest into every room you enter.
Jessica
April 13th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
Patsy –
Trust me, you don’t want to be like her. You want to live life? Find
things that bring you joy. But there is truly a downside to being as
she was. I’ll spare you the details, but from the time I was little,
we all used to say she’d live forever because she had ice water where
the rest of us had blood.
Stick to just having heard the nice parts….
Jessica
April 14th, 2005 at 4:00 am
there is always two sides aren’t there ?
i am happy where I am in my life right now
just trying to take care of this body with diabetes
Patsy –
Trust me, you don’t want to be like her. You want to live life? Find
things that bring you joy. But there is truly a downside to being as
she was. I’ll spare you the details, but from the time I was little,
we all used to say she’d live forever because she had ice water where
the rest of us had blood.
Stick to just having heard the nice parts….
Jessica
April 14th, 2005 at 7:57 am
Regarding our elders long gone (or perhaps still
here)…
My grandmother lived to be 102. I adored her,
although I hear that older family members found her
autocratic. To me, she and my Mom were love incarnate.
I had two great-aunts to lived to age 105 who were
beloved of the family. I have an uncle who lived to
be well into his 90s and largely in good health,
although I admit he was an odd fellow and I am not
talking about the lodge. My Dad lived to be 97.5 -
unfortunately, he was a troubled soul and no one
wanted his life, either, although he was a successful
& educated guy. On the other hand, I knew a 107 year
old former butcher, former vet (they were closely
related back then) who was the sweetest man I’ve ever
known.
My mother was salt of the earth, best person I have
ever met in my life and she died young young from
mesothelioma.
Part of it has to do with our attitude in life. Part
of it has to do with our keeping active mentally and
physically. Grandpa Charlie (not my grandpa) ate salt
pork and beans every day of his adult life and smoked
stogies (gag) and lived to his late 90’s. Lord, but I
loved that old man (as did his grandson) but the rest
of his family found him a miserable person to be
around. I still miss Grandpa Charlie now and then.
He was a super guy.
Now for the change in the topic.
I’m doing a bit of work with an hypnotist/EFT/NLP
therapist and one of his questions is - what is the
life that you want?
Now there is a question for all of us.
Does your envisioned perfect life include one where
food is a principal goal? As in all the goodies you
want? All the quantity you want? Maybe that needs to
change so we can be happy and dealing with the present
diabetes we are experiencing and not feel crushed by
dietary demands or exercise needs.
I could not figure out the life I want in many
respects, but I know I want to be able to not even
factor in high-carb foods. I would like them not to
even exist in my world so I can walk right past them
and recognize them as something as harmful to me as
hitting my thumb with a hammer. I know that I want to
exercise more. I want to be slim and healthy as a
result of the weight loss. I want to have normal BG
and weight. That I can hang onto. If I chose as my
goal to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted that
would be harmful. I can enjoy a good life better with
low BG, low weight, more exercise. I can be happier
so long as my happiness does not depend upon eating
carbs. When you think of it, if carbs are what makes
us happy, is there something wrong in that equation?
For me, it seems that a fixation on foods that are
actively harmful to me is sort of suicide by slow
means. I consider smoking to be the same thing.
I’m sure there are plenty of folks who consider me a
party-pooper or worse, both here and in real life
because I take a hard line about foods that are bad
for me. It doesn’t mean I don’t experiment sometimes,
but I recognize that for me chocolate cake is about as
helpful as booze to a drunk. My sister repeats the
old saw: a moment on the lips, a lifetime on my hips.
I always hated to hear it - because it is more often
than not true.
Anyway, I guess that is me creating my reality - I
only want to be interested in things that are good for
me. I don’t want to fixate on things that will cause
me harm. It takes practice. Nothing comes
particularly easy to me regarding making my life
better.
So, if some of us, perhaps the majority of us, have a
focus on the foods we want as the life we want, then
do we want to change that life we want to something
that is healthier? I know there are times I feel
that way - fortunately not many.
April 14th, 2005 at 12:36 pm
Marsha I really enjoyed your email
it is thought prevoking and something to thing about
I like the idea of only having good thoughts
Regarding our elders long gone (or perhaps still
here)…
My grandmother lived to be 102. I adored her,
although I hear that older family members found her
autocratic. To me, she and my Mom were love incarnate.
I had two great-aunts to lived to age 105 who were
beloved of the family. I have an uncle who lived to
be well into his 90s and largely in good health,
although I admit he was an odd fellow and I am not
talking about the lodge. My Dad lived to be 97.5 -
unfortunately, he was a troubled soul and no one
wanted his life, either, although he was a successful
& educated guy. On the other hand, I knew a 107 year
old former butcher, former vet (they were closely
related back then) who was the sweetest man I’ve ever
known.
My mother was salt of the earth, best person I have
ever met in my life and she died young young from
mesothelioma.
Part of it has to do with our attitude in life. Part
of it has to do with our keeping active mentally and
physically. Grandpa Charlie (not my grandpa) ate salt
pork and beans every day of his adult life and smoked
stogies (gag) and lived to his late 90’s. Lord, but I
loved that old man (as did his grandson) but the rest
of his family found him a miserable person to be
around. I still miss Grandpa Charlie now and then.
He was a super guy.
Now for the change in the topic.
I’m doing a bit of work with an hypnotist/EFT/NLP
therapist and one of his questions is - what is the
life that you want?
Now there is a question for all of us.
Does your envisioned perfect life include one where
food is a principal goal? As in all the goodies you
want? All the quantity you want? Maybe that needs to
change so we can be happy and dealing with the present
diabetes we are experiencing and not feel crushed by
dietary demands or exercise needs.
I could not figure out the life I want in many
respects, but I know I want to be able to not even
factor in high-carb foods. I would like them not to
even exist in my world so I can walk right past them
and recognize them as something as harmful to me as
hitting my thumb with a hammer. I know that I want to
exercise more. I want to be slim and healthy as a
result of the weight loss. I want to have normal BG
and weight. That I can hang onto. If I chose as my
goal to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted that
would be harmful. I can enjoy a good life better with
low BG, low weight, more exercise. I can be happier
so long as my happiness does not depend upon eating
carbs. When you think of it, if carbs are what makes
us happy, is there something wrong in that equation?
For me, it seems that a fixation on foods that are
actively harmful to me is sort of suicide by slow
means. I consider smoking to be the same thing.
I’m sure there are plenty of folks who consider me a
party-pooper or worse, both here and in real life
because I take a hard line about foods that are bad
for me. It doesn’t mean I don’t experiment sometimes,
but I recognize that for me chocolate cake is about as
helpful as booze to a drunk. My sister repeats the
old saw: a moment on the lips, a lifetime on my hips.
I always hated to hear it - because it is more often
than not true.
Anyway, I guess that is me creating my reality - I
only want to be interested in things that are good for
me. I don’t want to fixate on things that will cause
me harm. It takes practice. Nothing comes
particularly easy to me regarding making my life
better.
So, if some of us, perhaps the majority of us, have a
focus on the foods we want as the life we want, then
do we want to change that life we want to something
that is healthier? I know there are times I feel
that way - fortunately not many.
Just a thought.
Marsha
April 17th, 2005 at 5:05 pm
Marsha,
I know I’ve spoken of this before (Great-Aunt with multiple
amputations due to uncontrolled diabetes) but I got hit in the face
with yet another this weekend. I was able to go to the hospital and
visit my uncle who just had his foot amputated and has become
quite "brittle" (with his blood glucose levels). It is so sad to see
someone in the last season of their lives be so incapacitated. He
lives alone so we can see assisted living in his future because his
diabetes is such that he may or may not remember to take his meds or
eat correctly (or eat at all!).
All in all, very sad - especially for my Mom (it’s her brother). I’m
hoping that it gives her the "push" to monitor her diabetes closer.
Thanks for your insightful comments,
Elaine (TN)