"Cheating" as a diabetic

To Debra Lankford:

You’ve mentioned twice that you "cheat". I wouldn’t want to tell
anyone how to think or behave, but I found that when I stopped dieting
20 years ago, I gave up the concept that eating a select few types of
food was cheating. I guess I didn’t want to ever think of myself as a
cheater, or being bad based on what I chose to put into my mouth. I
learned to respect my body and mind AND understand a lot more about
what made me fat and what I could or couldn’t do about it.

So now, as a diabetic, I follow the advice my diabetes nurse educator
and dietician gave me 2 1/2 years ago when I was diagnosed. They
interviewed me about what I liked to eat, what I didn’t like to eat,
what my exercise level was like, etc. From that information they
advised me to aim for about 60 grams of carbs for each meal and about

30 grams for each snack. As far as the breakdown of carbs to protein
to fat was concerned, they advocated 40%/30%/30% of my total calories.

I don’t count calories and will never do so in the future. I hate how
dieting makes me feel, and know that 90-98% of people who lose weight
by limiting their calorie intake will gain any weight lost within 3
years and most will add more pounds than they started with.

So when I want to eat something sweet, I look at a portion size and
how many grams of carbs there are in that and decide how much I want
to eat at that time of day. I cook a lot and enter my recipes on
Master Cook software, so I can tell what the nutritional information
is for the recipes I cook is.

And I enjoy every bite of food I eat. I don’t think that withdrawal of
food as a punishment is a good concept for me, but I’m pretty anal
about knowing how what I eat is affecting my body. I probably
shouldn’t use the word "anal" and food in the same sentence!

My cousin, who’s a diabetic, talks about "cheating" and "being bad"
because she likes Oreos and other sweet things. It drives me bonkers,
but she chooses to beat herself up about that and there’s nothing I
can do to help her give herself a break.

I’m very fat (not overweight) and I’m comfortable with my body. If I
lose weight, great. If I stay the same or gain weight, fine. There are
more important things for me to worry about. I try to eat a good mix
of foods and cook nearly everything I eat from scratch. I go to the
pool four times a week and work with a dance therapist one day a week
on top of that. I’ve been looking at adult tricycles so my husband and
I can go bike riding. I think it would be a gas to feel the wind on my
face again and get where I’m going fast! It’s been about 30 years
since I’ve been bike riding.

So I guess you could call me—

an enjoyer, not a cheater.

14 Responses to “"Cheating" as a diabetic”

  1. Arron Astrid Says:

    Thank you for your great insights!
    You’re right about enjoying our choices.
    I realize that I rationalize too much
    About what I choose too enjoy!
    Thus I am like you.
    Too many pounds on my body
    & not enough reduction in my meds to show
    That I am being proactive with my diabetes.
    Thanks -
    Deb L.

    You’ve mentioned twice that you "cheat". I wouldn’t want to tell
    anyone how to think or behave, but I found that when I stopped dieting
    20 years ago, I gave up the concept that eating a select few types of
    food was cheating. I guess I didn’t want to ever think of myself as a

    cheater, or being bad based on what I chose to put into my mouth. I
    learned to respect my body and mind AND understand a lot more about
    what made me fat and what I could or couldn’t do about it.

    So now, as a diabetic, I follow the advice my diabetes nurse educator
    and dietician gave me 2 1/2 years ago when I was diagnosed. They
    interviewed me about what I liked to eat, what I didn’t like to eat,
    what my exercise level was like, etc. From that information they
    advised me to aim for about 60 grams of carbs for each meal and about
    30 grams for each snack. As far as the breakdown of carbs to protein
    to fat was concerned, they advocated 40%/30%/30% of my total calories.

    I don’t count calories and will never do so in the future. I hate how
    dieting makes me feel, and know that 90-98% of people who lose weight
    by limiting their calorie intake will gain any weight lost within 3
    years and most will add more pounds than they started with.

    So when I want to eat something sweet, I look at a portion size and
    how many grams of carbs there are in that and decide how much I want
    to eat at that time of day. I cook a lot and enter my recipes on
    Master Cook software, so I can tell what the nutritional information
    is for the recipes I cook is.

    And I enjoy every bite of food I eat. I don’t think that withdrawal of
    food as a punishment is a good concept for me, but I’m pretty anal
    about knowing how what I eat is affecting my body. I probably
    shouldn’t use the word "anal" and food in the same sentence!

    My cousin, who’s a diabetic, talks about "cheating" and "being bad"
    because she likes Oreos and other sweet things. It drives me bonkers,
    but she chooses to beat herself up about that and there’s nothing I
    can do to help her give herself a break.

    I’m very fat (not overweight) and I’m comfortable with my body. If I
    lose weight, great. If I stay the same or gain weight, fine. There are
    more important things for me to worry about. I try to eat a good mix
    of foods and cook nearly everything I eat from scratch. I go to the
    pool four times a week and work with a dance therapist one day a week
    on top of that. I’ve been looking at adult tricycles so my husband and
    I can go bike riding. I think it would be a gas to feel the wind on my
    face again and get where I’m going fast! It’s been about 30 years
    since I’ve been bike riding.

    So I guess you could call me—

  2. Alex Irena Says:

    I have to chime in here and ‘agree’ with foible. I, too, have stopped
    monitoring what I eat. In fact, when I try to do so I find myself
    rebelling and eating twice the amount of the ‘bad’ foods! I don’t even
    go so far as evaluating the amount of carbs as some do, including
    foible. I have learned to listen to my body and let it tell me what it
    wants. That means most of the time it wants really healthy foods. I
    have also learned to interpret it’s messages correctly, like sometimes
    I THINK I want something carby when what I really want is to go to bed
    and sleep. That’s one of the things I love about insulin: you can eat
    as you with and treat your diabetes, just like our bodies used to do
    (and the bodies of folks who are not diabetic do now!). That’s how I
    think about it now. I am just doing manually what my body used to do
    automatically. It takes the pressure off me to behave in a particular
    way.


    The problem is that our medical teams think differently and try to put
    us into a mold that may or may not fit. Some people don’t have issues
    with food like I do and that means they are much better at monitoring
    what they eat. My health team was very frustrated with me when I was
    first diagnosed. My first endo even pulled someone else’s chart out and
    showed me her ‘progress’ in losing weight and said, "If she can do it,
    so can you!" I was reduced to tears, but I stood up for myself. I told
    him I know myself and my body and that I would go nuts on a diet. He
    pretty much washed his hands of me. Luckily I had a PCP at the time who
    knew a lot about diabetes and she reluctantly worked with me. She
    wasn’t too happy about my refusal to diet either.

    Since then I have taken it upon myself to educate myself about diabetes
    and what’s happening in research and what is being found. Doctors like
    to shame us about going to insulin when we need to, acting like it’s
    because we are failures when the truth is diabetes is one of those
    diseases that gets worse with time, no matter what you do. Most of us
    WILL end up on insulin no matter what we do! The other thing I learned,
    based on numerous long-term studies, is that it doesn’t matter how you
    get to tight control. It only matters that you get as close to tight
    control as you can if you want to avoid complications.

    I have followed that idea since I found out I was diabetic, and that
    was before I read those studies! It just makes sense. I knew I had to
    do for my body what my body used to do automatically, and I knew that
    dieting would make me crazy, no matter what I was told. I’m not always
    as successful about treating my diabetes as I would like, but I’m not
    doing too badly. My last A1c was 6.7 (I was hoping it would be lower),
    and I have no complications. I was diagnosed 15 years ago. My docs told
    me I would have complications in 5 years! Well, I’ve shown them! ha!

    I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. Foible and I are not
    lecturing you, just trying to give you a different perspective on
    things. If you decide to look at treatment differently, you very well
    might get a lot of flak from your health team at first. But, they will
    back down if you defend yourself… heh, I often get flak from others
    too, but I just ignore it. If they are willing to listen, cool. If not,
    oh well…

    Anne

  3. Alex Irena Says:

    One last thought as I read your reply. The idea that you have to lose
    weight in order to successfully treat your diabetes is a bunch of
    hooey! Just come over to the fa-diab list and you will see! <grin>
    fa=fat accepting. Just another of those myths our health teams foist on
    us! Like I said, any way to tight control you can get is what is
    important. By the way, I read a study several years ago (dang, I wish I
    could quote it!) that showed losing weight only helps you control your
    diabetes in the short term and that folks who lose weight actually end
    up needing to increase their treatment sooner than those whose weight
    is stable… How about that? I just remind myself that the stuff we are
    told about the heart problems we will get just because we are diabetic
    is based on numbers. Yeah, some of us will, but a whole bunch of us
    won’t… I don’t worry about it and try to take care of myself just as
    I am. If you have certain diseases/conditions in your family that might
    make a difference of course…

    Anne

  4. Irwin Mayme Says:

    Thank you, everyone, for the thoughts and insights on "dieting" and
    tight control. I am one of those whose appetite increases 1000-fold on
    insulin, with the ultimate weight gain. Even without the insulin, I had
    problems with appetite and losing weight. So I’m happy to be on Byetta.
    It makes me eat "normally," i.e. I don’t crave food 24/7.

    We went to a birthday bash over the weekend. I had beans with a TBS of
    rice, salad, tomatoes, 3 tortillini, 1 1/2 grilled portabello mushrooms
    with cheese and room for small, 1/3 of a serving of almond cake with
    whipped cream topping. We ate late (8 pm), and my glucose was 108 when I
    went to bed a few hours later. I’ve learned that I can eat most anything
    in moderation and enjoy life with small servings.

    Dieting never did much for me. It was always "starvation mode" for me to
    lose any weight. I’m so thankful for my little gila monster!

    Hugs,

  5. Arron Astrid Says:

    Janie, Anne & Foible-

    Thanks for all the encouragement!
    All so true.
    With me right now, it’s all about control.
    Personally & medically.
    I was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer
    last October right before I turned 50.
    Have gone through 4 months of chemotherapy
    & 35 radiation treatments.
    I should do fine, but my diabetes went haywire
    due to the meds given during chemo.
    I had to go on insulin during that time
    & previously had only been on oral diabetic meds.
    So for me, it’s not even about the "cheating".

    It’s me trying to regain some control over all these events.
    Wild year, but have learned it’s one day at a time for all of this.

    Thanks all -
    Deb L.

    Anne

  6. Aimee Marty Says:

    Thank you, everyone, for the thoughts and insights on "dieting" and
    tight control. I am one of those whose appetite increases 1000-fold on
    insulin, with the ultimate weight gain. Even without the insulin, I had
    problems with appetite and losing weight. So I’m happy to be on Byetta.
    It makes me eat "normally," i.e. I don’t crave food 24/7.

    We went to a birthday bash over the weekend. I had beans with a TBS of
    rice, salad, tomatoes, 3 tortillini, 1 1/2 grilled portabello mushrooms
    with cheese and room for small, 1/3 of a serving of almond cake with
    whipped cream topping. We ate late (8 pm), and my glucose was 108 when I
    went to bed a few hours later. I’ve learned that I can eat most anything
    in moderation and enjoy life with small servings.

    Dieting never did much for me. It was always "starvation mode" for me to
    lose any weight. I’m so thankful for my little gila monster!

    Hugs,

    Janie

    Anything posted in this group is the opinion of the person who posted it.

    a.. Visit your group "Diabetes_And_Byetta" on the web.

    ——————————————————————————

  7. Alex Irena Says:

    Check out books by Jane Hirschmann and Carol Munter. They work together
    and are two of the foremost speakers and group leaders who teach a way
    of eating that honors your body and helps you to learn how to listen to
    it.

    There is no one ‘normal’ way of eating. Every body is different. That’s
    why there is no one way of treating diabetes. Learning to listen to and
    interpret our bodies’ messages will help you a lot. You may or may not
    lose weight, but you WILL be a lot healthier. I have found them to be
    quite illuminating. There are groups using their methods to help people
    work through their food issues in many cities. I think just reading one
    or two of their books might make a big difference.

    I eat more than Melissa does, but I am happy where I am. I do know I am
    eating somewhat less and certainly don’t notice whether I am or not. I

    like that aspect of byetta. Your body may be somewhere in the middle…

    Anne

  8. Anna Cristy Says:

    I have to chime in here and ‘agree’ with foible. I, too, have stopped
    monitoring what I eat. In fact, when I try to do so I find myself
    rebelling and eating twice the amount of the ‘bad’ foods! I don’t even
    go so far as evaluating the amount of carbs as some do, including
    foible. I have learned to listen to my body and let it tell me what it
    wants. That means most of the time it wants really healthy foods. I
    have also learned to interpret it’s messages correctly, like sometimes
    I THINK I want something carby when what I really want is to go to bed
    and sleep. That’s one of the things I love about insulin: you can eat
    as you with and treat your diabetes, just like our bodies used to do
    (and the bodies of folks who are not diabetic do now!). That’s how I
    think about it now. I am just doing manually what my body used to do
    automatically. It takes the pressure off me to behave in a particular
    way.


    The problem is that our medical teams think differently and try to put
    us into a mold that may or may not fit. Some people don’t have issues
    with food like I do and that means they are much better at monitoring
    what they eat. My health team was very frustrated with me when I was
    first diagnosed. My first endo even pulled someone else’s chart out and
    showed me her ‘progress’ in losing weight and said, "If she can do it,
    so can you!" I was reduced to tears, but I stood up for myself. I told
    him I know myself and my body and that I would go nuts on a diet. He
    pretty much washed his hands of me. Luckily I had a PCP at the time who
    knew a lot about diabetes and she reluctantly worked with me. She
    wasn’t too happy about my refusal to diet either.

    Since then I have taken it upon myself to educate myself about diabetes
    and what’s happening in research and what is being found. Doctors like
    to shame us about going to insulin when we need to, acting like it’s
    because we are failures when the truth is diabetes is one of those
    diseases that gets worse with time, no matter what you do. Most of us
    WILL end up on insulin no matter what we do! The other thing I learned,
    based on numerous long-term studies, is that it doesn’t matter how you
    get to tight control. It only matters that you get as close to tight
    control as you can if you want to avoid complications.

    I have followed that idea since I found out I was diabetic, and that
    was before I read those studies! It just makes sense. I knew I had to
    do for my body what my body used to do automatically, and I knew that
    dieting would make me crazy, no matter what I was told. I’m not always
    as successful about treating my diabetes as I would like, but I’m not
    doing too badly. My last A1c was 6.7 (I was hoping it would be lower),
    and I have no complications. I was diagnosed 15 years ago. My docs told
    me I would have complications in 5 years! Well, I’ve shown them! ha!

    I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. Foible and I are not
    lecturing you, just trying to give you a different perspective on
    things. If you decide to look at treatment differently, you very well
    might get a lot of flak from your health team at first. But, they will
    back down if you defend yourself… heh, I often get flak from others
    too, but I just ignore it. If they are willing to listen, cool. If not,
    oh well…

    Anne

  9. Aimee Marty Says:

    Check out books by Jane Hirschmann and Carol Munter. They work together
    and are two of the foremost speakers and group leaders who teach a way
    of eating that honors your body and helps you to learn how to listen to
    it.

    There is no one ‘normal’ way of eating. Every body is different. That’s
    why there is no one way of treating diabetes. Learning to listen to and
    interpret our bodies’ messages will help you a lot. You may or may not
    lose weight, but you WILL be a lot healthier. I have found them to be
    quite illuminating. There are groups using their methods to help people
    work through their food issues in many cities. I think just reading one
    or two of their books might make a big difference.

    I eat more than Melissa does, but I am happy where I am. I do know I am
    eating somewhat less and certainly don’t notice whether I am or not. I

    like that aspect of byetta. Your body may be somewhere in the middle…

    Anne

    Anything posted in this group is the opinion of the person who posted it.

    a.. Visit your group "Diabetes_And_Byetta" on the web.

    ——————————————————————————

  10. Irwin Mayme Says:

    Deb L.

    I haven’t gone through something so severe as breast cancer, but I did
    have a major bout of sciatica that resulted in 6 months of pain until
    surgery, then 1 year recovering, part of that time taking neurontin. I
    was almost off the insulin and blood pressure meds until that happened.

    Just when we think we have it under control, it can change in a heartbeat…

    I’m glad you’re going to be fine, Deb. I can’t imagine what you’ve gone
    through (are going through). You are one brave gal!

  11. Arron Astrid Says:

    Thanks, Janie.
    I think it’s the recovery time
    that’s as tough as the event.
    That’s where your defenses are down
    & rest can tumble with the diabetes.
    Are you fully recovered now?
    Deb L.

    I haven’t gone through something so severe as breast cancer, but I did
    have a major bout of sciatica that resulted in 6 months of pain until
    surgery, then 1 year recovering, part of that time taking neurontin. I
    was almost off the insulin and blood pressure meds until that happened.

    Just when we think we have it under control, it can change in a heartbeat…


    I’m glad you’re going to be fine, Deb. I can’t imagine what you’ve gone
    through (are going through). You are one brave gal!

    Janie

  12. Irwin Mayme Says:

    I still have some numbness in my left leg. The disc fragment broke off
    and lodged against the nerve, so the doc opted to leave some of it there
    because it was too close. I’m up to walking 2 miles again, but not doing
    it as much as I should. Dr. Mercola recommends 1 hr of exercise each
    day, and I should shoot for that. I know I’ll feel even better if I do.

    Janie

    debra lankford wrote:

  13. Alex Irena Says:

    heh… it doesn’t help that we are told (as women particularly) from
    infancy that our bodies are giving us false messages and we can’t
    possibly figure out on our own how to eat in a healthy way, does it? I
    have gotten to where I tune out those segments on tV news that talk
    about the ‘obesity epidemic (doesn’t help that they have lowered the
    BMI No. to the point that very healthy, buff, men are considered
    obese!) and how we are all going to die young because we are ‘fat.’ Did
    you know that in the studies that show fat people die sooner than
    thinner people the difference is only by a year or two… Give me a
    break! When I’m 85, who cares?????

    Anne

  14. Alex Irena Says:

    Oh, this is so true! I had surgery in both of my legs in January (major
    vein stripping due to massive varicosity). Most of my incisions have
    healed, but I have one near my left ankle that is stubbornly resisting
    the healing process. It means I have had to take antibiotics for over 3
    months and have to wear special wrappings to help keep the swelling
    down so the incision can heal. If I get behind on my antibiotic the
    dang thing gets reinfected and I almost have to start over! You can
    imagine what this does for my BGs…

    Debra, I think you are an incredible woman too!

    And, Andrew, that woman was psycho! I don’t lunch sometimes until 3pm
    or later, simply because I am so busy I don’t realize how much time has
    passed by! Good grief! If anyone is THAT hidebound, they don’t need to
    be part of my life… And she said ‘no flaming’… ha! she flamed

    people constantly!

    Anne

    ================================================
    "In the world’s eyes I may seem rather useless at
    times because I can’t hold a full-time job nor
    even produce art in a speedy manner because of
    my ailments. Yet I have learned that I can be an
    effective member of the body of Christ through my
    prayers for the rest of the body. My worth doesn’t
    lie in the image I have created for myself; I have
    worth because I am made in God’s image.

    – Deb Headworth, in Amazing Grace for Those Who Suffer

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